Thursday, January 9, 2014

Thought For The Day - The Management of Expectations

The sudden and untimely suicide of Telugu actor Uday Kiran was painful to hear about. He must have undergone much trauma and depression following his huge success and then the vacuum that followed. It happens often in many spheres - students, employees, love - many of us find the walls closing in on us and see no escape. It is always painful to see young people giving up their lives as they find themselves unable to handle expectations.

For those in creative pursuits, the route is even more perilous because creativity and art being on one hand, the capacity to market oneself and one's potential plays a bigger role in the success one gets. One may be talented but that is not all as we know. One has to translate that into performance. To translate potential into performance, it is absolutely necessary that one has the right guidance, mentors and support systems. Without these, most of us struggle to translate potential into performance or results.

Few are fortunate enough to do that. For the rest of us however, it might be a good idea to manage our expectations based on the results we get. Yes, there will be successes if we work hard and if we look to grow purposefully and with focus. However if the successes dry up, it is time to go back to the process an find out what is wrong. Be is a student, a cricketer, a writer or an actor - the results are a good indicator of what is happening. And if it needs corrective action, it needs to be taken, and fast.

If we need to look at alternatives, at new doors opening, so be it. If it needs a correction of course, based on sound advise and a rebuilding of the basics - finances, results, output, so be it. One must be flexible enough to lower expectations until the results start perking up again. If we have slid from 80% to 30%, it is better to aim for 40% and then rebuild, instead of looking at 80% again and getting stuck. But this time, the rebuilding stage, is when the maximum learning happens. You will learn about the process, about yourself and you will know how to use yourself best.

We are all unique and we have all have a story. For people in the creative arts it is best to be committed to the medium. To act, to write, to direct, to sing - focus on the body of work. Immerse yourself in creating as many pieces of work as you can. Give yourself that timeframe of 20-30 years and keep at it relentlessly. Like an Amitabh or a Woody Allen or a Dev Anand. Stop worrying about a couple of failures - in the end you will be known only for two or three, five or six at best. But to get a good list, you need to make 30 - 50 plus or more. Commit to the work, look to grow, look to express. God has given you a talent, so let that talent flow through you instead of blocking it with doubts and fears. Create, create, create in all forms, all media. Work should keep you busy whether it translates into instant money or not.

The second thing is to stay grounded. To keep the attitude of a learner. To be ready to strip off the past and move. If things work great. If they don't go back, learn, improve and come back. Keep that support system alive, be grateful to those who truly love you and always, always be subservient to the medium that makes you. As Socrates said - we know nothing. We can take that further and say - we are nothing. It is easier to manage our expectations from that space and rebuild.

Life is wonderful. There is always a route, a door that will open. We must be aware and willing to open it and walk into it. When things are not going well, we must go and try those doors. We cannot always expect those doors to come to us. To be gentle with ourselves, to accept life, to learn and to move on, to be grateful mostly to what we have - these then will keep us going in those phases when all seems dark and lost. The night is darkest they say, just before dawn. So hang in there. Tomorrow's a new day!

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